random tuesday...

"It may sound absurd...but don't be naive. Even heroes have the right to bleed. I may be disturbed...but won't you concede. Even heroes have the right to dream".

It is a new week. It is a new day. Nothing is new, but I like new.

It appears as if I might have had a little too much wine while cooking a sweet dinner tonight although I really wasn't cooking for very long. Oops.

It is probably not the best idea to order books online while slightly under the influence, but that is exactly what I just did. I suppose there are much worse decisions I could make while intoxicated. You really would laugh if you saw the combination of books on said order. If you know me well, though, I think you would understand.

Something a patient said to me really had an impact on me today. He had no idea how nice what he said was.

This blog is going to be more random than I would prefer. My life is random at the moment so it is a fairly accurate reflection of a few of my thoughts.

I have eaten a lot of spinach today.

I don't like standing still and I haven't fully began that process yet.

I miss you already.

My niece isn't even three yet and she can basically already swim. Sometimes I think she is smarter than me.

I am happy.

Trip number two to Carowinds is planned for this weekend. I have gone with a group before, but it has been a long time. This should be interesting.

I have set a reasonable time limit in my mind and I am going to stick with it. It is with the intention that it is for my own good. Besides, I don't know what I'm doing and it is not as easy as one would think, so avoidance behaviors appear to be helpful (or at least protective) at the moment.

There was blog that was completed in its entirety the other night, but I backed out and deleted it. Ambiguity is a necessity.

I understand my motives. What were yours?

You masked it. You were ashamed. I needed it. I need it.

You hurt me. You let others hurt me.

I overcame this without your help.

Intact. Unsure. Safe.

You have been an influential part of my life. A good influence and I am thankful.

I'm not so sure my way of thinking is the correct way of thinking, but right now it is the best way of thinking...I hope.

This post, although you might not fully be aware, has been a little darker than I originally intended. That was not my intention. That being said, I will now attempt to brighten this a little bit with a few things that I am very fond of at the moment...just to name a few...

peacefulness, yoga, nachos, learning, sarcasm, usefulness, the process, small achievements, writing...not so well, road trips, endorphins!, wine, converation, different people, fun, goals, music, sushi, good books, newness, productivity, openness...

Be good,

E