I may not be able to talk, but I can write damnit!

I'm writing again, these letters to you, aren't much I know...

Yes, those are lyrics people. If you actually listened to my excellent playlist, you would recognize them. Speaking of my playlist, I think for the first time ever, Kole enjoyed my music. This was evident in the way that she turned the volume up rather than down as she drove my Honda around the scenic city in pursuit of groceries to make some wonderful baked macaroni and cheese for our cookout. (Yes I am aware that sentence was too long).

I really enjoyed the recent trip to Chattanooga. Too bad it will not last much longer. Meaning. Significance. Departure. (Not the kind you're thinking of). It is my goal to use lots of parentheses in this blog!

You are in my life for a reason. I can already name many, but I think there is more to come. I am so happy that I met you.

Well it appears as if I have laryngitis. It would most likely be an intelligent idea to rest my voice, however, I have probably been talking more than usual lately. Unfortunately, the festivities that took place over the weekend perhaps were not the best thing for my ailing vocal cords.

Open. Unapologetic.

I am supposed to be doing more. Will I ever feel as if it is enough? probably not.

Despite my recent sickness that has left me with the voice of an alcoholic man, I am still remaining positive (refer to a previous blog if you don't quite know what I'm talking about). I've said this before, but the sky really is bluer, and the grass really is greener. For that, I am thankful. I am thankful for a great amount of things.

Considering the fact that I am a nurse, I sure do hate taking medications. Actually, the true problem is that I hate dependence.

I am the luckiest, unlucky person that I know. This sounds vaguely familiar because I have also been called the dumbest smart person known as well. I tend to agree.

There is so much that I don't want to forget. There is so much left to remember. There is so much left to give. I need to stop rushing. I am still working on the patience issue. downfall.

I am afraid I may have created a life that is too busy. I am neglecting things (or people) that I do not wish to neglect. Am I selfish? Are these necessary sacrifices? I'm not so sure that either is the correct answer.

There is a certain recent issue that makes me question things that I have been trying to avoid. I was given decent perspective tonight (or at least some things to think about), however, there is still something in me that doesn't want to hear it. Why do I block out things that I know are wrong? I don't think I can block this one. Fairness. Practicality. Pragmatical.

random thoughts for the night (that I am too sleepy to blog about)...

gnats floating in my ice cold water, undone, planned focus, reconnecting with at least one positive past memory (hey, there are few), nonexistent voice, intuition, confusion, standing still, veils, true grief, understanding through experience, chemical burns, restless, face down, denouement...

"I was being unmade. I was no one".

"Nothing is yet in its true form".

night,

E