I have decided that I refuse to use my tax rebate to "help boost" the economy. As much as I would like to go on a shopping spree for clothes that I am certain to become too fat for in the next year or to go purchase a big t.v. that would not get much use, I have opted to save the money instead.
They sang a Lifehouse song at church today. I hope they plan to make this a common practice. I could recommend a few if they would like.
I need to do more. I hate complacency. I have more potential than I would ever admit to having.
So, I was behind a very slow older couple at Wal-Mart today. This allowed me some time to work on developing my patience. Since I had extra time due to the ten minutes it took to walk behind them from the register to the door, I ended up having many interesting thoughts and questions. I will not share all of them with you tonight, but some of them were, why should they be in a hurry and what would they really need to be in a hurry for? I hope that when I am that old and I am walking through a store (preferrably not a Wal-Mart) that I will not be in a hurry either. I am already tired of hurrying through life.
It does no good to have focus if you are focused on the wrong thing.
No, to better answer your question, I don't regret anything. Funny though since you have no idea what really has taken place, but I still feel the need to explain myself. It is a shame that I can not always do so under the present circumstances and I will not really attempt to tonight, but, everything that has happened has shaped me and changed me into the person I am now. I happen to like that person. Furthermore, I will never not appreciate greatness. And I will never not appreciate happiness. If bad times had not occurred, I would not be capable of fully recognizing the good times. Besides, it is not helpful to have regrets.
I have been reading some great books for school in preparation of semester 3 out of 4 that will be starting this week whether I am ready or not. Too bad my reading comprehension is at an all-time low and the smallest things distract me these days.
The beach trip is quickly approaching. My only goal is to relax, buy lots of unnecessary t-shirts, and take funny pictures. It really doesn't take much to make me happy. My playlist that I have on my page is really good. I think I might need to burn a beach trip cd for my traveling companions although I am certain that they will be haters. It's ok though because I plan to pack my mp3 player for backup.
I appreciate:
good weather, self-knowledge, usefulness, somehow having the understanding of the difference between true need and perceived need, emotions, starting points, happiness, random phone calls, empathy, my bester coming home, boneless buffalo wings, sarcasm, broken cycles, self worth, second chances, freedom, fun thoughts, independence, simple solutions, connectedness, and I really could go on for a long time...
I'm not being as vague as usual in this blog and that is mildly disturbing. In an attempt to recapture my vague emotions, I will now post a poem for you. I know that it really could be better but, I am tired.
Don't let me forget to be thankful
and don't resent me for this.
I have so much to make up for
but nothing I will miss.
Don't let me lose my direction
and don't believe that it's hopeless.
I have some room for correction
but I won't lose focus
Don't let me wait for nothing
and don't expect me to stay.
I have been looking for something
but it's not far away.
Well, I really should go to sleep because I plan on working off some frustration at the gym early tomorrow morning.
Night,
E
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